"A person suffered and died for me... teehee!"

If I were a christian, I'd be down-right offended.

Dear Christians,

If Jesus saw you carrying this around, wouldn't you be ashamed for making light of his death, which you are so eager to believe was beyond horrific?  Or do you think he would give you the "Buddy Christ" wink and thumbs up?  

I used to hear this phrase quite often: "we (christians) are in the world, not of the world."  

Then why are you so eager to drag your own savior down to the level of a bullshit cliche?  I don't even believe in the guy, but you do - shouldn't you show a little more respect? 

Sincerely,
Atheist Kittens

“Then the Lord said to him, ‘Take off your sandals, for you are standing on holy ground... and also, that shit is tacky."

If you have recently experienced summertime in the south, then you have seen classy ladies sporting sandals like these.  I'd like to take a moment to acknowledge that there are rhinestones on the camouflage.  Is this a hipster-redneck statement?

"oh, I'm wearing a disguise mechanism covered in shiny objects, isn't that ironic?" 


May the non-believers BE DAZZLED by the glory of thine holy flip-flops, hipster-rednecks.

Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition!

In case you can't read it, those big 'ol signs with the fake guns hanging from them say: "We Don't Dial 911."  Next to them, you will find a turquoise cross, a cross made from what I am guessing is antlers, one made out of a belt, and the one on the top left is my favorite.  Clearly it honors Longhorn Jesus, who died to save the cows from their utterly sinful ways.

At the bottom of the picture, you will find a lovely portrait of John Wayne.  Michele Bachmann would be proud.

Oh well, to each his own, right?  Let he who is without sin  the property-owner shoot the first rifle.

Crown of thorns? Yawn. How about a belt of barbwire!

Hot damn, won't they be jealous of this at the rodeo?  This shining symbol of your devotion to Christ will set you back about $80.00.  Just be sure to pray for the people that you unintentionally blind with it.

What is this... I don't even...

I've always been bewildered by the christian gift industry.  There are just so many questions to ask.  For starters, if you believe that Jesus died horribly on the cross for your sins, what is it about that fact that makes you want to put a damn cutesy, glittery cross on everything you own?

I'm not a christian, but let's pretend for a moment that I am.  Jesus kept going on and on about helping the poor, giving up material possessions, etc.  Just imagine if christians were as hard-core about these things as they are about, say, gay marriage or abortion?  Do you think the world might be a different place?

Well, rather than doing as Jesus asked, and selling all their things, many christians would rather spend that orphan-feeding money on some sparkly cross flip-flops, a giant cross-adorned purse, or another decorative cross to add to their collection.  I'm sure Jesus would be extra-super proud of them.

This blog will serve as a gallery of all the ways that christians choose to spend their money to honor their dear lord... you know, OTHER than the way in which he asked them to.

Have you observed any amazing holy tacky shit lately?  Send it to me, I'll give ya credit.